Just tired
Tired
Tired
Unhappy
Cannot accept myself
Not even sure I felt happy because I truly felt so.
The therapist said I may need some rest
But my life was full of cloudy days
And rains and snowstorm and tornado
Would that be possible to take a rest
Cause I felt this sea of pain is devouring me.
I hate myself
For the fact that I cannot live with it and for the fact that I expect it too much.
I am so greedy
And in voracious hunger for belonging
Why doest it have to be me ? Was that even destiny ?
I am so tired.
And I want to leave this burden on my shoulder
But at some point leaving it means leaving my heart
Let it become devoid of emotions
Is that good ? I think so
Because attachment has always been
A source of suffering.

I swallowed my despondence
While trying to cover up the hollow
In my chest
And wallowed in the anguish of mind and body
Having expected the sorrow to gobble me
As no one can save me tomorrow.

Written by N